The Clawwwww

I went and saw Toy Story 3 last night :D First date with this new guy. Went to pick him up and on about the second corner I almost crashed because some idiot pulled out in front of me, cleverrrr. The film was pretty good, I laughed and teared up. Enjoyable movie. We held hands for part of the movie, I was so nervous about moving mine over. *blushes*

Went back to his town and took a Chinese back to his friends apartment that he is looking after. He kissed me while he was handing my food. He is very good at that. The kissing, I mean. He didn't make the food! Then we cuddled on the sofa a bit and did some more kissing. I went home about about 10:30pm, I was sooo tired, didn't fall asleep till almost midnight though.

It was a good night, Can't wait for our next date ^_^

You Might Want To Sing It Note For Note

I'm back home, that felt like a pretty long two weeks. Spent time with my younger sister, watching movies, playing the xbox. Driving her to a couple of places she needed to go. It wasn't too bad, she just gets on my nerves super fast and it's hard to get alone time there for some reason. My parents got back from their holiday yesterday so I just went back to mine. Was fun taking everything out of the car again.

I've pretty much unpacked, which is quick for me. I need to sort out my camera and the bag for Saturday for my date with this guy :) I was quite surprised I was only on the dating site for two weeks, I already feel kind of with him, but that's probably a bit too soon. He's ever so sweet. He text me just to tell me he was smitten with me when he managed to get some signal. The place he's been isn't so good for signal. I'm really excited for Saturday, I just hope all goes well.

It's Confirmed: I Have A Brain!

So, yesterday I had my 6 months follow up with my neurologist. Saw my MRI, there is definitely a brain in my skull. It all looks normal, so nothing to worry about there. However, she was worried that the pills had not been working and as they make me lethargic she is reducing the dose and subbing in another pill. So I have to go back onto them. She's not entirely sure they are migraines anymore.

I have to go and get checked for sleep apnoea, which I doubt I have. Also I have to have a lumbar puncture to check the level of pressure in my brain fluid. Joy. I'm not really looking forward to all of that, I think I've gone a bit quiet.

I should of stayed in bed today. This headache kills.

It's Not Your Fault, But Mine

I'm still staying at my parents at the moment, it's kind of annoying. My sister is being really annoying, once she's said her piece, I'm suddenly arguing if I talk back. So I'm not allowed to actually make my argument, or I am arguing. It's so much fun, makes me want to smack her in the face :D I can't wait to go home now, but at the same time I am dreading it. I'm wondering how hard it'll be.

Things are going well with this new bloke, only known him a week and it seems like a future is on the cards. He doesn't seem to shy away from the though of commitment, and knows anything sexual will be a no no for a short while, and is STILL talking to me. I'm pretty happy talking to him, he's made me happy.

I still really need a new job, this one is totally getting to me. My headaches kill, I'm losing motivation for exercise and I would like a few days off even though I had a week off the week before last. Funfun.

60 Men In A Week, Eh?

I had my week off last week and I got pretty bored, and what with things going pear shaped with that guy I started to feel pretty lonely. He was a friend and he comforted me, and because we were so close I didn't feel lonely all the time even though I was single. But now I need to put in some space between us, so I'm left feeling like I'm hanging out on the ledge a little bit. All of my own choice, though.

Anyway, so I joined a dating website and made my profile, etc, etc. I have had over 60 men message me since I made it. I thought I might get about 10 message me if I was lucky. I have really hit it off with this one guy, we slip in and out of sexual conversation with ease, so it doesn't seem all pervy. We've talked about a whole bunch of things and seem to get on well. He also loves cats. Winner. Straight off :D

I also said I'd beat him at Forza, so we have a bet on with that now. I will win! He asked to meet me once he comes back from his holiday. I'm so excited, I want to meet him sooner but I am at my parents. He's so cute looking. I feel as comfortable as you can feel just knowing someone online. I absolutely have missed the feelings of falling for someone, but I'm watching myself in case I get hurt.

It's my dads 50th today! :D

Dimitri the Meerkat

I’ve enjoyed my week off. Had a nice relaxing week. Got my MOT and service done on Monday, which ended up a little cheaper than I first thought. Had a day of nothing on Tuesday. On Wednesday I went into town with my younger sister and I bought my Dad a card and a soft toy, a meerkat! He had an operation on his hand, and it seems quite customary to get a small toy in our family. I’ve never had one, and I’ve never given one, so I thought I would this time. I also got him his birthday present, and bought myself a couple of DVDs, The Hurt Locker, 500 Days of Summer and Kill Bill: Volume I & II. Had a good day in town. Went back to my parents to see my dad and I had a birthday present there from my step grandparents, and a couple more cards.

Went into town again yesterday to see if I could spend a gift card, could not find anything that i liked in store, at all. Heh, not sure what I’m going to do with that gift card!

Everything finally fell apart with the man I love, I guess it was inevitable, and it took a long fucking time. But I’m pretty much broken again. I had hope I shouldn’t have and I thought the waiting might finally be over, but it’s not. What we did is done and I can’t change that. And I’ll never have any of him again. I have to realise this all over again. I thought I would never have to. His loyalties unfortunately lie with her. I can’t ask anything of him. But I’m not even sure I can remain close friends with him. I want too much. The stuff he can never give me. Such is life. I compromised my morals for him, I compromised who I am. I have a feeling it’s for more than the short term. It seems to have changed where I see lines to be. I am again, on the line I possibly shouldn’t be. Am I attracted to the excitement now? When I care for someone, a lot less seems to stop me than it used to. I want what I want, and sometimes I don’t care who I might hurt. Time will tell what happens with this one.